I just came in from hearing a CD play in the car of some of my favorite songs from college.
Subliminal reminders of feeling very alive-- spontaneity, freedom, power, efficiency, playfulness...
In so many, many ways this mini-van driving, bottom wiping, emotionally eating mother has forgotten the girl that really lives inside of me. My days are spent reminding little boys to go to the bathroom, hand sanitizing, sandwich making, and bill paying- and somewhere along those lines I forgot that I was once a fun person. I once knew how to talk about something other than nap schedules and pediatrician appointments. Once...
So much of my days are spent worrying about keeping my kids from drowning, and my nights continuously checking to see that my kids are still breathing- and it shocks me to remember that I once drove a sports car that broke down every week, got several speeding tickets, hung out with guitar buddies, and was quite a flirt (don't misinterpret that for flousy). And today I stood back and looked at myself and saw something had slipped from me that I don't like that I let go.
I think I've let go of my fun side.
Obviously, I'm not going to stop paying bills or cleaning house here. I am a HUGE believer in being responsible, living the gospel as 100% as possible, being a wife and mother full of devotion and fidelity. But- I am finally believing Glenn is right that it would be good for me to get some hobbies. Somehow my responsible side has left me as something I call "Motherly Fearful". And I don't like that has left me feeling serious almost all of the time.
So, first on the list- I signed up for a Zumba class (Akk! So fun! Glenn and I agreed it was okay as long as there are no men in the class :)... I'm not shaking my hips around any men, thank you very much.).
Next- well, that's what I'm working on. I know there aren't a lot of people who read my blog, but if you do, you are most likely a mother as well and I would LOVE to know how you keep in touch with your fun side. I know it involves creativity, creating, and a healthy step away from the kids on occasion (hard for me to do). I would love any suggestions...
I know it goes without saying that I would never change that I am a wife and mother- every day I feel joy in what I do... I just need help loosening up a bit :).